My Abortion.

CW: this blog consists of graphic images, detailing the event of a medicated abortion.

Disclosure: The following material is to provide my personal experience for others in the case of considering / investigating abortion in Australia. This blog supports those to have only the children they want and choose. Always consult a healthcare professional for the procedure that is right for you. Scroll to the bottom to see my Costs involved.

Art work by Hannah Daisy

Having spoken with my doctor I decided a medicated abortion was the right option for the termination of my pregnancy at 46 days gestation.

For this I would be taking two doses of pills.

One pill on a Wednesday night, and then four again 36 hours later.

After the first pill I found my stomach to be really showing. While my uterus was quite visibly at work, I was still able to attend work this day and the next. But I was beginning to feel anxious for sure.

Through this pregnancy I had a lot of discomfort, feeling nauseous around the clock, having difficulty with eating, and very low on energy. Naturally I was anticipating the end to all those early trimester pregnancy symptoms.

I had organised my working days to allow me 3 days to recover in order for the second dose to take effect.

Early Friday morning, four pills dissolved in my mouth exactly 36 hours from Wednesday night.

I began to bleed no longer than 10 mins later. My expectation was that it may take four hours to begin, in my case it was much sooner.

Experiencing the pain of a heavy flow at first, I had a coffee and hoped back into bed.

A good 30 mins later the pain intensified. I took 2.5 prescribed Paracetamol codeine phosphate to then get me through the next 2 hours of wavering contractions.

I had perhaps 3-4 irregular contractions in total that I was able to really identify.

A contraction feels like a hardened stomach with a wave of pain right across your belly and gathering in your back.

This was coupled with the less than ideal symptoms of diarrhoea and the chills from the Ms2step. So resting wasn’t an option entirely.

I was laid on my side now wedged between two hot packs and a fort of pillows. I occasionally let out a good cry to manage and release the pain that seemed like it was only worsening.

I wasn’t sure how long this entire process would take. I was told I may bleed for 14 days. In my mind I wondered if it was possible that it may dispel over that stretch of time. I wondered how long this pain would go on for.

3 hours later, the pain felt completely subsided.

I sat up in bed on my knees peeping into my underwear to see a heavy flow of blood involuntarily release.

Removing my underwear now and placing a white towel (so I could monitor the amount of blood) between my legs, in an upright position gravity took over and expelled the embryo effortlessly.

I knew straight away the pregnancy was now terminated.

What followed a minute after in the bathroom while cleaning up was the placenta and another blood clot.

I cried again with relief!! Colour rushed back to my face and I felt released!

I chose to have the medicated abortion although painful, for my own mental health. I personally needed this experience to be one that was intimate and this option provided that to me.

Being within the comfort of my own home was also important as I can get sensory overload, and stress soon follows!

So with my husband checking on me periodically in his slippers, and me in mine between the hours of 6am and 9am it was all over and I found the process fairly manageable when I arrived out the other end of it.

There are many emotions that come with learning you are pregnant, so when I found this article ‘Grief After Abortion: healing from unspoken loss’ weeks earlier it certainly was helpful in my preparations around what emotions I may or may not experience and ways to deal with it, or understand it.

For me, burying the embryo in my jasmine plant was a way to send off my complex of emotions from shock, sadness, disappointment, fear, hope, relief and forgiveness; wrapped up in the time between now and the moment my test showed positive.

“May you be reincarnated into another life, another family, somewhere in time”

My recommendations:

Have someone with you

Stay in bed until you got out of bed

Plan ahead what your self care following the abortion will look like for you. Mine was a burying ceremony of types, speaking with supporting friends (perhaps oversharing on the details but they didn’t mind) and the day in bed with a book and iPad.

Drink water!

And, celebrate yourself. You’re doing amazing!

Tell your story

My costs (AU):

$108 initial GP visit for blood test referral with a $37 rebate

No cost for blood test

$170 specialist to discuss my options

$150 ultrasound (rebate to collect)

$137 revisit specialist for Ms2step prescription (rebate of $34.00)

$39.99 for the Ms2step (one abortion clinic priced Ms2step at $500, so see your GP for a prescription)

$18 nausea pills and painkillers

Now what?

You can expect a long heavy period to follow! A doctors appointment and blood test will be required 3 weeks following your medicated abortion. Communicate how you’re feeling! That’s most important.

And download the ‘Clue’ app. It’s a period and health checker! An absolute!