Don’t stop at hummus

Talking to my best friend Alice yesterday who is so deeply truthful with me on every level, she explains to me why my content around vegan topics on social media is often not received well.. I didn’t ask, she just explains this to me because she’s a judgemental whore. I didn’t say that, I would never. Because she’s pregnant with twins now and I feel bad for her vulva.

She says two reasons. 1. You’re educated 2. They’re not

Umm.. thank youuu. Staph it, I like it.

No but, this is true and not about me at all. Every vegan, pre vegan milestone was uneducated and harboured a curious loathing for vegans. Even people who have grappled with the basics of the movement and cause can be reluctant to change and that’s where the uneducated asserts position, where you just decide to remain that way like an MTV teen mom episode.

You can bring a man to knowledge but you can’t make him learn. The trick lies in confluence. An act of processing or merging. And challenging yourself like I did in my 8 weeks of piano lessons over summer 1992. Not that we could afford it, but my mum insisted on filling the absent father void with extra curricular.

Don’t ask me to play piano today I was 6, I’ll key out a decent version of ‘Heart and Soul’ and that’s all I took away from the collection of rigorous finger stretching, rhythm keeping exercises created by a French guy one hundred and fifty years ago who in a stroke of entrepreneurial genius, called it the Virtuous Pianist. Generations later, In addition to it being a special form of torture for children, it became a teaching tool for those who thrived of constant escalation and one upping themselves.

And this is how best I can describe the person who discovers veganism. A tool more or less for people who are down for exercise that is of the evolvement nature.

Joe Rogan’s Triggered comedy performance on Netflix recent adds, devotes a section of his jokes to explaining “some people have little ears.. some people have big ears.. some people have shit for brains..” What am I implying here.. nothing it’s completely subjective and if you’re not catching ill feelings by this point than you must be a ‘one up yourself’ person who loves to never really arrive like a chickpea that just keeps giving until its fucking whipped cream! Losers stop at hummus!

I’m saying try on vegan for size. It’s 4am, I haven’t had sex in weeks. I digress. If you can’t figure out what the big vegan deal is about eating a plant based diet in 2016 I feel bad for you son.





Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s