Doing heaps for humanity.

Wearing blue eye shadow says alot about a person. And that’s a standard I have randomly imposed on people.

Even though I pride myself on not being judgemental, I am. In fact if people around me could hear my internal monologue they would agree. Or ask my friend Alice.

Let me start by saying, there is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful than a person being unapologeticly themselves. In fact I am the girl advocate of ending girl hate. Because being a girl is hard af.

But for the purpose of staying true to the ‘best friend’ theme that is the perminiter of my blog, you and I can stop pretending we don’t all surrender to this safe circle mean girl banta for lols.

Entering the dingly village mini golf centre with my 8 year old, I hold the door for a young couple walking through not letting each other go for a single moment to even open a door and let themselves out. Vom.

No It’s cool I got it, but were y’all just gunna walk straight into it or?! I digress, what im automatically internalising is her nude off the shoulder knit sweater that actually is ridiculously ‘date’ perfect attire for mini golf!

If a garment had a purpose, this would actually be the purpose for a nude ‘off the shoulder’ knit, and it would discriminate all other practical useful jumpers for the event of a mini golf date.


“Thank you” they say. Oh look at you two, taking a break from PDA to manage some self awareness. Perhaps some awareness about the fact that everything about you both and your date is disgustingly predictable including your nude off the shoulder knit attire for mini golf. “I love your nude off the shoulder knit, where did you get it?”

“stop trying to make fetch happen” Regina

The lady behind the counter is a Paris Hilton look alike, with bronzer shaping her blonde hairline, underneath a layer of primer, foundation, toner, shimmer powder, ‘on Wednesday we wear pink’ blush, strobes on point and drug store contour pallet shaping her missing jawline possibly a bad call next to her porcelain skin neck, and a heavy coat of .. nude? is it white? Sorta pink metallic lipstick exceeding the boundaries of the natural lip lines. Thank you Kylie Jenner.

Makup victim? Or makeup challenged?

I am multitasking this current wave of analysis as she asks how many are playing golf today.

“she’s full on Monet. It’s like a painting, see? From far away it’s ok, but close up it’s a big old mess” Cher

Well there’s me, this kid that’s with me, and then there’s just you in the room.. so, “two thank you” her eye brows are shaped still in trend with the 2000 girlfriend magazine Tweezer techniques ‘how to achieve tiny teeny arches that result in a perpetually shocked face expression’ Think.. Drew Barrymoore and then proceed to measure four fingers wide between the eyebrows beginning the plucking of the fuck out.

Wait. I’m all about acceptance. Its only about materialistic things. Its just surface passing waves of observations that sound like diggs but are no reflection on the people except in the case of blue eyeshadow. so it’s ohhhkayy.. no?

“Lord grant me the serenity to accept the materialistic things I cannot change, change the materialistic things I cannot accept, and give me the wisdom to know the difference”

Where does this mean girl come from? I blame Joan rivers. Except I have a filter, perhaps not internally but most definitely outwardly.

Just for measure, I am the first one to hand out compliments in every exchange. Dont smh me.

In fact I made it my own social experiment to say “you look good” instead of “hello” in the case of greeting people and the results came back, not a single person replied “you look good too”.

What that means is unknown. Either compliments are some sort of an un subconscious entitlement. Or I look like shit all the time. It remains undetermined.

“Style, it’s like herpes, either you have it or you don’t” Joan Rivers

Make waves babe. XO

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